Our lifestyles are choices we make based on our society, upbringing, beliefs and sexual preferences. But to choose something unconventional, your heart and preferences need to overrule everything else. One such commonly practiced but rarely discussed lifestyle is BDSM. The sheer range that BDSM encompasses is inclusive of many different sexual acts and behavior. They all aim for a single goal though- pleasure and trust. Unlike what many believe what is BDSM or “Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Masochism and Masochism”, is not just about ways of inflicting pain during sexual acts.
It is a lifestyle choice where the partners absolutely trust and respect each other- enough to consent for such experimental acts. But with many taboos surrounding the practice, finding a partner interested in this gets tricky. Here are some ways to recognize a fellow practitioner and make the most of your sexual fantasies.
Becoming part of BDSM Clubs and groups
This is the easiest place to find like-minded people who are potential partners for BDSM for beginners. There are many such clubs, forums, secret social groups built locally by those enthusiastic about this lifestyle choice. Social media platform to word of mouth or meeting new people organically- you can find out about such clubs easily when you actively look for them.
Be respectful of the culture
Within the BDSM community, there are strict rules and regulations about conduct, consent, and acts which are condemned. The notion of consent and conduct is particularly strong in this community. Hence, you must be respectful of other’s choices. Only when you are on the same boat with a potential partner, can you take forward the alliance. To do this, you must be respectful of their choices and preferences.
BDSM relationships are commitment too
Many believe that BDSM sex is just about temporary fun and some new experiments to try out. But in reality, there is as much commitment, responsibility, care and affection in BDSM relationships as in a conventional relationship. You can be in love and respectful of the person and still enjoy practicing bondage, dominance, masochism etc. To find the right partner, you must understand that such practices are to stay confined in the bedroom or as part of sexual role play only. There is a thin line between practicing BDSM and becoming downright abusive. A person who understands this is often the most attractive person to potential partners.
Go on normal dates
As you meet potential partners, try to inculcate conventional dating practices. If you are only focused on the BDSM part as you converse with such partners, they are likely to get repulse. It makes you appear obsessive and even psychotic to the potential matches. But when you are attentive about truly knowing the person- their likes, dislikes, ideologies, beliefs, it makes you more attractive. Moreover, to have a fulfilling BDSM relationship it is essential to know each other well- mentally, emotionally and physically. You get to know a person best when they are enjoying your company.
Observe the dates
The people you date can let out a number of minor details about their personality when you interact. If you are observant, you can easily recognize red flags or endearing traits. How they behave with those inferior to them, their attitude regarding the BDSM culture, their fantasies, things they like and dislike- all speak volumes about the person. To figure out the right partner, you must have an open mind but also keen observation.
If you are wondering what is BDSM, rest assured that it is not that different from conventional relationships in its true essence. To those who practice the lifestyle, it is a liberating experience. But to find the right partner, you must have a thorough understanding of the true beauty of the lifestyle.